Devotion is Not Discipline: Letting Go of "Should" and Embracing the Body You Are

SELF CAREWELLNESSNERVOUS SYSTEMPELVIC HEALTH

Jodi Bremner PT, Founder of Hervana Women's Wellness

6 min read

A peaceful woman resting in bed with text overlay about self-devotion and body acceptance in a cozy bedroom.

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Discipline Pushes. Devotion Returns.

There is nothing inherently wrong with structure. A supportive routine can bring steadiness to your days. Movement can nourish your energy. Pelvic floor exercises can be helpful when they are appropriate for your body and guided with care.

But when structure becomes rigid, it can disconnect you from the very body you are trying to support.

You may begin to override tiredness. You may move through pain because you believe stopping means you are not committed. You may hold your breath, tighten your jaw, or clench your pelvic floor while trying to “do wellness correctly.”

Devotion has a different rhythm.

It does not demand that you never miss a day. It does not measure your worth by your consistency. It does not ask you to abandon your changing needs in the name of a goal.

Devotion is the quiet choice to return.

Return to your breath.
Return to your comfort.
Return to the wisdom of your body.
Return after a busy season, a difficult week, an illness, a birth, a hormonal shift, or a long stretch of simply getting through.

Your body does not need punishment to become worthy of care. It is worthy now.

Rewriting the Language of “Should”

Language shapes the way we inhabit ourselves.

When you notice a familiar “should,” try placing a little space around it. You do not need to argue with it or force it away. Simply become curious.

Instead of: I should work out today.
- Try: I am devoted to finding movement that supports my energy.
Instead of: I should be stronger by now.
- Try: I am learning what support and strength look like in this season.
Instead of: I should stop feeling this way about my body.
- Try: I am practicing meeting my body with patience.
Instead of: I should do more pelvic floor exercises.
- Try: I am curious about what my pelvic floor needs , support, coordination, release, or rest.

This last shift is especially important. The pelvic floor is not simply a muscle that needs to be tightened. It is part of a living system, connected with your breathing, abdominal pressure, hips, spine, emotions, and nervous system.

For some women, pelvic floor physiotherapy may involve strengthening. For others, it may involve learning to release tension, coordinate movement, manage pressure, or feel safe in the body again.

There is no universal prescription for devotion. There is only the invitation to listen more closely.

If you are experiencing pelvic pain, leaking, heaviness, urgency, or discomfort with intimacy, you do not need to wait until things become “bad enough.” Pelvic floor physiotherapy can offer compassionate, individualized support.

Your Body Is Not a Project

Many women have spent years being encouraged to view their bodies as projects.

Something to improve.
Something to reduce.
Something to tone, discipline, hide, or manage.

This way of thinking can make it difficult to receive the body you are living in today. You may postpone tenderness until you look different. You may wait to wear the soft clothing, take the bath, book the appointment, or move for pleasure.

But devotion begins with the body that is here.

The body with its changing shape.
The body that has carried stress.
The body that has given birth, aged, healed, adapted, grieved, and continued.
The body that sometimes feels strong and sometimes asks to be held.

In our previous Wellness Journal reflection on the body as altar, we explored the body as a place of reverence rather than correction.

This is the same remembering.

You are not required to adore every part of yourself every day. Body devotion is not forced positivity. It is something gentler and more honest:

I am willing to care for myself, even here.

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Pelvic Floor Physiotherapy

Upcoming Experiences

A peaceful woman wrapped in a cozy beige blanket sits in a chair by a window, enjoying a slow morning at home.

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When “Should” Becomes Too Heavy

You may know the feeling.

You should exercise more.
You should stretch every day.
You should strengthen your pelvic floor.
You should rest before you become exhausted.
You should feel grateful for the body you have.

The list can grow quietly. It follows you through the morning, into the changing room, across the yoga mat, and into bed at night.

Even wellness can begin to feel like another place where you are failing.

This is not because you do not care about yourself. Often, it is because you care deeply , but have been taught to approach your body through pressure, correction, and control.

What if there is another way?

What if caring for your body was less about discipline and more about devotion?

Discipline often asks you to perform. Devotion invites you to listen.

Discipline can say, “I have to do this perfectly.”
Devotion gently asks, “What helps me feel more at home in myself today?”

The difference may seem small. But in the body, it can feel like the difference between bracing and breathing.

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A woman in a green sports bra performs a seated spinal twist yoga pose on a mat in a sunny studio with indoor plants.

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Nervous System Rest Is Part of the Practice

A body that is constantly being pushed may not know how to receive.

When you are moving through long periods of stress, your nervous system may remain alert to what needs to be done next. Your shoulders rise. Your breath becomes shallow. Your belly tightens. Your pelvic floor may grip without you realizing it.

This is not a personal failure. It is your body trying to protect you.

Nervous system rest offers a different message: there is no emergency in this moment.

You can begin with something very small.

Place one hand over your chest and one over your lower belly. Notice the warmth of your palms. Let your breath move naturally. There is no need to force a deep breath or make anything happen.

As you inhale, imagine the ribs widening softly. As you exhale, allow your jaw, shoulders, and belly to become a little less effortful.

Perhaps your body softens. Perhaps it does not.

Either way, you are practicing listening rather than commanding.

For more on this gentle relationship, explore the breath and pelvic floor connection.

Rest may also look like:

Taking a slower walk without tracking your pace
Choosing restorative movement instead of a demanding workout
Saying no before your calendar becomes full
Eating a nourishing meal while seated and unhurried
Letting yourself sleep without needing to earn it
Spending ten quiet minutes without improving anything

These are not indulgences. They are ways of reminding your body that it belongs to you : not to a schedule, a standard, or someone else’s gaze.

Let Movement Become a Conversation

Mindful movement is not about making your body obey.

It is a conversation between sensation and response.

You might roll your shoulders slowly and notice what changes. You might sway your hips while standing in the kitchen. You might lie down and feel the weight of your spine supported by the floor.

Ask yourself:

Does this feel nourishing?
Is there room for more ease?
What would feel good to receive right now?

Sometimes devotion looks like strengthening. Sometimes it looks like stretching. Sometimes it is a gentle walk outdoors, where your feet meet the earth and your attention follows the changing light through the trees.

And sometimes the most devoted movement is no movement at all.

At Hervana Women’s Wellness, we believe mindful movement and pelvic physiotherapy should meet you where you are. Your care is not a test of willpower. It is a partnership with your body and your own inner knowing.

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A woman in a cozy sweater sits cross-legged on a cushion, holding a warm mug while looking out a bright window.

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A Small Devotion for This Week

Choose one “should” that has been weighing on you.

Write it down exactly as it arrives.

Then place your hand over your heart and rewrite it in the language of care.

For example:

I should make time for myself becomes
I am devoted to creating one small pocket of space for myself.

That pocket might be five minutes with tea. A few gentle breaths before sleep. A quiet walk. A conversation with someone who makes you feel seen. Or a first step toward support through women’s physiotherapy.

There is no need to transform your whole life today.

Devotion is not a performance. It is a relationship. It grows through small, sincere gestures repeated with tenderness.

You are allowed to care for your body without trying to become someone else.

You are allowed to receive your own attention.

And you are allowed to begin again : softly.

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Place one loving hand on your body today, take one unhurried breath, and let that be enough.